Article : ROUGE. Times of India  
    Untying the knots

 
   

Afraid of tying the knot? Worried your freedom will be curbed? Marriage is not so bad provided you have found the woman of your dreams. Martin D’Souza walks down the aisle…

Laura and Tommy were lovers; he wanted to give her everything… flowers, presents, but most of all a wedding ring…

Everyone has heard, at some time or the other, this Skeeter Davis love song that even today, tugs at the heartstrings. But in this case, Tommy did not have to die in a car crash trying to earn some money to buy Laura a wedding ring. The money for the ring was there. Also, there was enough to keep Laura happy after they married…
But herein lies Tommy’s problem. He was afraid to let go of his freedom – his status of being a bachelor. He died a hundred deaths considering the thought of marriage. For Tommy, being a bachelor was the ultimate. He could do what he wanted, when he wanted with no wife to keep badgering him for his whereabouts.
Why sacrifice this freedom for marriage, he thought. Anyway, he had Laura for a friend. Also, there was Sheela, Reena, Daisy, Cindy and Candy… The last few named were just good friends who he could go out for a hot cuppa coffee and discuss everything under the sun as well. So would he jeopardise this scenario for something that will change his lifestyle forever? No way he thought, till he decided to get married…

Many men are faced with the marriage phobia. They want to get married with the woman of their dreams, some even dream of the woman, but when the dream materialises, they shy away from the wedding date. Cold feet — you want to get there (marriage), at the same time you want to be here (bachelorhood).

It’s a tug of war with thought and emotions until you decide to MARRY! Even then, it’s with trepidation of what the morning after, after the honeymoon will bring. But guys, you have to grow up sometimes, and it’s better when you are ‘marriage worthy’ then when after all your friends are raising families of their own.

Yes, the fear is definitely there of sharing your life with someone whom you don’t really know. It’s even more for the woman; because it is she who has to make most of the changes — she is coming into your home remember??? But once you marry and it is with the woman who is destined for you, marriage is not all that bad after all. You wake up to a whole new life. Of course there are a few changes to be made by both, but herein lies the fun of giving in and letting go; of not being adamant on certain issues and of finding a solution with discussions, sometimes which awaken the neighbours! But it’s fun nonetheless, of making up after a verbal bout.

And when the kids come, life takes a full circle. You wonder then why it took you so long to decide to marry when the woman was right in front of you. As for your bachelor friends whom you wanted to hang out with, some have married while the others are still enjoying their so-called single status while silently envying you. As for Sheila, Reena, Daisy, Cindy and Candy…. they all have babies of their own!

Tommy has not regretted one bit of having the ‘married’ status. In fact, he is quite enjoying it! All the fears of whether his wife would be overbearing, of whether she would curb his freedom or have him dance to her tunes are like a bad dream. He has woken up to a whole new life. All he now sings to his daughter when he wakes up every morning is…

Tell Laura I love her…

 




 
 
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